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A blog for Catholic men that seeks to encourage virtue, the pursuit of holiness and the art of true masculinity.
3 Steps to Overcoming Discouragement
September 23, 2013
For a couple of days recently, I was down in the dumps, worried over some things happening in my life and in the world. While I wish I could say I handled this bout of discouragement with poise and high doses of hope, patience, and fortitude, quite frankly, the opposite was true—I handled it poorly.
In the depths of frustration, I shot off some emails outlining my lament. I complained to my wife and co-workers. I felt sorry for myself, brooding over just how bad things were. I was a first class whiner.
That said, I firmly believe a failure can be beneficial if we learn from it. In retrospect, here are three things I should have done instead of feeling sorry for myself, and that you should practice if you are feeling discouraged.
1. Pray – Prayer is the breath of the spiritual life. If we aren’t praying, we are slowly suffocating spiritually. Of course, when we face difficulties or discouragements, often the last thing we feel like doing is praying. So what. Man up, overcome your feelings of distaste for prayer, and just do it.
Instead of complaining to your family or friends, pour out your heart before God. I assure you, he can handle it. He is a loving Father, and he desires to help you in your distress. Spend a holy hour before the Blessed Sacrament, letting Jesus heal you and strengthen you. Read some Psalms of lamentation, like Psalms 12, 44, 60, or 72 (Those numbers are according to the new numbering. Subtract a number if you’re using the Douay-Rheims version).
Pray the rosary. Our Lady is called the Star of the Sea, the Comforter of the Afflicted, the Refuge of Sinners, Spes Nostra—-our hope. She will console you better than any loving mother could, and send you the graces you need to persevere.
2. Meditate on the Passion – It may seem paradoxical, but the healthiest thing you can do when you are feeling discouraged is to meditate on the passion and death of Jesus. St. John of the Cross said, “Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent.” Very simply, gaze upon a crucifix and think of the love of Jesus.
In the crucifix, we are reminded that “God so delighted in the world, that he gave his only Son.” We are reminded that Jesus suffered everything we will ever suffer or could suffer, but infinitely more intensely. He suffered the emotional blackness of betrayal and the abandonment of his closest friends, the physical agony of brutal torture, the grief of seeing his beloved mother suffering with him. And he suffered these things for the love of you, to redeem you and purchase you with his Precious Blood. “By his stripes we are healed.”
As the reality of the passion sinks deep into our souls, we will be compelled to see our problems in their proper perspective, and then to unite them to the sufferings of Jesus.
3. Give thanks – The best antidote to pessimism is praise. The truth is, we are overwhelmed with good gifts from God, we are drowning in a sea of benefits—and we hardly ever notice. We really only appreciate things until they are gone; we are thankful for two legs only when we break one.
If you are feeling that all is wrong in your life, take inventory of the many things that are right. Name at least five things for which you are thankful. If you do this, you will quickly realize that you could never stop naming blessings as there are simply too many. The good things in life are subtler, quieter than the bad things, but they infinitely outnumber them.
Conclusion
There really is no excuse for gloom in the Christian life. Like St. Peter sinking in the waves, things have a way of overwhelming us at times, but we have a sure and certain hope, a merciful Savior, and innumerable blessings for which to be thankful. Rather than complaining, we should say like the psalmist, “Why art thou sad, O my soul? Hope in God, for I will still give praise to him : the salvation of my countenance, and my God. ”
How do you handle discouragement? What blessings are you thankful for?
PS: If you are feeling down, you may want to read my column in Truth and Charity Forum, entitled “A Call to Hope.”
Great article. I recently found myself in the same predicament and likewise was less than Catholic about my response to the difficulties at hand. I went to Mass on Sunday and found the priest addressing the same topic as he spoke about Pope Francis and the recent mis-use of his words by the main stream media. Funny how God works.
That’s the down side of the internet – instant messaging!
Everyone gets discouraged and blows off steam to someone at different times in their lives. It’s human to re-act in this manner.
If only our wives/husbands/close friends, etc., receive the brunt of our frustration then we only need to apologize/explain to a few people; the internet is a different thing.
Your 3 steps to overcoming discouragement are great and we should all utilized them more often.
Thank you and God bless.
Friend, I’ve heard it said,
The church is not a hotel for saints.
The church is a field hospital for sinners.
Perhaps your reaction was Catholic, but imperfect.
Keep on the Journey.
Failure to succeed is not necessarily failure to progress.
Speaking for myself, when discouraged is when I least want to pray. Of course, I know at the time prayer is the single most important thing I can do but…
I would add that even a brief time before our eucharistic lord is extremely comforting and consoling. I also find, as a man, father, husband and worker that St Joseph is a tremendous support. Always remember the advice “Go to Joseph”. I assure you that you will be heard.
I have a prayer card from MIC parked right in front of me. It has a wonderful quote and reminder from Bl Stanislaus Papcynski, “Learn to have recourse to prayer as to an anchor, especially when tempests of temptation break out, other confusions spring up, or difficult tasks await you.”
When I get discouraged, I DO pray more…I constantly think of God (contemplative prayer)…and think of Jesus’ Agony and Passion (my special devotion)……and pray the prayer to St. Michael…………………….and I DO count my blessings……………..BUT I’m still discouraged.
My precious husband passed away 2 years ago, and EVERY day is so hard for me to go through without him, without his love and just being with me…..and I get discouraged often. I have grief and discouragement.
And I have no one to turn to.
It doesn’t seem like God is answering my prayers to lift my discouragement.
Been there, done that with counselors.
So what is the remedy for me?
Rm, it sounds like you’re experiencing a dry spell, which God uses to purify our desires. In other words, keep going, trusting in the Lord as you would that the sun that has receded behind the clouds still exists and will shine again once more.
Moreover, it’s one thing to know that God exists, but do we really call Him “Lord”? Ask Him to use this dry spell to bring you closer to Him.
God bless you.