Generational Warfare

We are not isolated individuals, no matter how much our culture ingrains this lie into us. Our genetics alone point to this reality, with inherited traits shaping our personalities and capacities in countless ways. There is no such thing as autonomy, and the more we try to live as if we could achieve it, the more disastrous the results. We did not choose to live, for life was given to us as a gift. Many of us also did not choose to be reborn in baptism, because this was chosen for us by our parents and the Church who supplied for our lack of faith.

We also did not choose to be born into a mess. But here we are. My students often tell me that it is not “fair” that we suffer the consequences of the sin of our first parents. That’s individualism talking. Part of becoming an adult is learning that nothing is fair. Beyond that, we also learn how much we depend on one another to learn, to grow, and just plain get by. We rise and fall together. Adam could not hand on what he lost, but his disobedience sowed the seeds of Cain’s fratricide and the descent that led all the way down to the flood.

But here’s the good news. We also don’t deserve redemption. That, too, isn’t fair. A new head emerged to found a new family, the Church, which lavishes blessings on us even as we continually spurn them in favor of sin. Each time we come back to the Father, we experience his gratuitous love and mercy in a way that should snap us out of following our first father’s disobedience. Instead, we continue to imitate it in a way that break our communion with the Church and our families, with ripple effects that impact others.

Sin has social dimensions. By turning away from the covenant we have entered with God, we form a compact with the enemy by joining in his rebellion, giving him more influence over our lives. Those who have authority draw their dependents into this rebellion, at least by experiencing its effects, and that is partly how we “pass on” the rebellion and disorders of sin. Our children cannot disentangle their lives from ours as parents. If we abide in the covenant, like Adam abided in the Garden, we foster a place of peace and protection for them. When we break that covenant, we let the serpent in through the gate to wreak havoc. Soon sons begin to imitate and confirm the sins of their fathers, falling prey to the same vices.

On the surface, there is much common sense in this reality. Children intuitively pick up the habits and ways of thinking of their parents. A disordered father will pass disorder down to his children. But, since we are also in the middle of a great spiritual war, our sins also expose our children to increased spiritual attack. We are enfleshed souls, and what we see happening on the surface often mimics what also happens hidden within. A father has a duty to be in a right relationship with the Lord not only for his own good but also for the good of his family.

We speak of generational sin to capture this reality, but, rather than particular sins, the term captures the reality of a wound that often leads into sin. Just like those short genes, we can find ourselves being the connecting link in some common sin or temptation, whether it be something like drinking, growing aloof to the challenge of leading a family, or unfaithfulness. When we think back, we begin to discover a habit in our family line that we continue. Our ancestors have allowed the enemy to gain influence within our family through the doorway of serious sin and evil. But like Adam’s fault, there is good news here as well.

Fatherhood is the ultimate relationship. God is Father in himself, giving life to the Son, who comes to offer the gift of sonship to us. If we learn to become sons, we can become loving fathers. A father in right relationship with the Lord becomes a source of life. He gives gifts, especially baptism, to his children.

Jesus is the healer. He comes to heal us fully in all the dimensions of our lives. This includes our immediate family relationships and also our family line. Rather than claiming to be a victim of unfair consequences, he calls us to share in his healing work through prayer, reparation, and reconciliation. We can pray for healing in our families, offering Masses for our departed family members, and can pray against generational sin when we recognize it. We can stop the sin at our generation, breaking the enemy’s hold on us and our family members. Jesus gives us authority in our family to bless, teach, and protect those in our care, and to restore our family more broadly. By allowing God to heal these wounds within us — from fathers, family, and even friends — we become through Him the means to heal our own family. Just as we are the link between sin and spiritual death, we can be the generational link of life.

Published with permission from Sword&Spade. Sword&Spade answers a critical need to help form and unite men in the pursuit of wisdom, virtue, and sanctity.

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