Your Wife Doesn’t Feel Loved: 8 Warning Signs

January 1, 2023

A wife’s number one need is to be secure in love.

Notice the nuance. Not just loved…

She wants to be “Secure” in her husband’s love. Certainty is the key element. A wife who is certain of her husband’s love for her will make her husband feel loved.

She will be more confident, which affords her husband confidence.
She will be happier, which makes her husband happier.
She will be more self-giving, intimately, and vocationally.

What husband doesn’t want that?

Women need to be reassured—daily—that their husbands love them. By knowing and feeling her husband’s love, a wife thrives. But how can we husbands know that she is secure in our love?

Below are eight warning signs that could indicate that she has “Lost that lovin’ feeling.”

  1. She seeks love in things: binge eating, binge dieting, binge entertainment, binge shopping, over-focus, and disordered emphasis on externals like house décor, or self-décor (clothing, physical fitness, appearance).
  2. She seeks emotional intimacy with others instead of you: Your mother-in-law, co-workers, particularly male colleagues.
  3. She gives greater priority to your children than to your marriage. She seeks comfort in them rather than you.
  4. She lacks motivation and vitality.
  5. She is distant, resentful, and unresponsive to your affections.
  6. She is easily aggravated by, or snarky about, your time spent at work or with friends, and time and money spent on hobbies and personal projects.
  7. She stops taking care of herself (for you) / or, she takes care of herself too much (not for you).
  8. She is emotionally anxious and/or depressed and this increases after conversations with you.


Stay tuned… There will be a follow-up post: How do restore her confidence in your love?

Devin Schadt


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