A blog for Catholic men that seeks to encourage virtue, the pursuit of holiness and the art of true masculinity.
This is an excerpt from an article that was previously published in Sword & Spade magazine.
Ten years ago, my life felt unfulfilled. I showed up to the inaugural Fraternus meeting of our chapter in search of something more. I quickly found a group of men who filled a void in my life. These men especially understood the importance of brotherhood, something I had never experienced. I could easily see the work of God in this Brotherhood, and I was inspired to begin pursuing a different life, to begin pursuing God.
I came to Fraternus with no real prayer life to speak of. During my first several years in Fraternus a talk or a conversation with another man would encourage me to pursue God, and I would make an attempt at personal prayer. Unfortunately, I was not ready spiritually, and I lacked the right tools that could lead to a meaningful and sustainable prayer life. After a short period of time, I would gradually stray from my efforts.
Although I was giving up regularly, what I can see clearly now is that God wasn’t giving up on me. Finally, at a retreat on prayer through the Avila Institute, I heard and listened to Matthew 7:21-23:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.’” This passage helped me to gain an understanding that to get to Heaven, I must be in a relationship with God. He wants to know me through prayer and without this relationship, He will not know me and I will be turned away at the gates of Heaven. This was the motivation that I needed to push me towards building and nurturing that relationship with God each day.
Finding the motivation and the tools to guide me kept me more consistent with my morning efforts at prayer. However, there were still too many distractions in my life that kept me from being able to consistently find God in my prayers. Most mornings my mind spent more time in the previous day’s activities than in the gospel passage or the meditations. I wondered why it was so difficult for me to enter into the silence necessary for prayer.
Persistence in my efforts, combined with spiritual growth and insight gained through Fraternus finally enabled me to find the silence I needed in my life. Focusing on the following four objectives allow me to effectively unite with God inprayer.
God First
Knowing that this should be the way I live all my life, I must go to God first each day. There can be no stops along the way. No phone, no breakfast, no exercise. Anything before God is disrespectful to Him and will only increase my distraction during prayer.
Limited Screen Time
Truthfully, this needs to be no screen time, however I frequently fall short of that goal. It is easy for me to know when I’ve spent too much time in front of screens because my distractions during prayer time increase dramatically. Not wanting to feel that separation from God, I’m quick to correct it.
Living in God’s Presence
Throughout the Day I know that I can’t expect to reconnect with God each morning if I wander too far off from Him each day. I stay connected by pausing during a busy day to pray the Angelus or I speak to Him and I close my day in nightly prayer with my wife.
Fasting
I am blessed with many wonderful things here on earth. However, I cannot be attached to the comforts they provide me. When I fast, I create an emptiness from earthly things that I can then fill with my relationship with God. Currently, I restrict food two days per week to help me detach from this world’s comforts.
Having discovered how to find silence in my life has greatly reduced the distractions that I face in my prayer life. Unfortunately, the noises of this world are very tempting, and I do get off track. However, now that I have experienced the beginnings of a relationship with God, I am always drawn back in for more and I look forward to continuing the journey.
Published with permission from Sword&Spade. Sword&Spade answers a critical need to help form and unite men in the pursuit of wisdom, virtue, and sanctity.
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