The Catholic Gentleman

A blog for Catholic men that seeks to encourage virtue, the pursuit of holiness and the art of true masculinity.

Purity

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Chains of Freedom: A Uniquely Catholic Antidote to Masturbation

It’s still early in the new year, and resolutions and fresh starts are still inspiring us. Lent approaches. Many readers of The Catholic Gentlemen are participating in the ascetic rigors of Exodus 90. This is in many ways the most proper time of year for the unchaste, especially those with long-term addictions to pornography and masturbation, to make a fresh attempt to quit and heal.

At this time therefore, I would like to bring together the wisdom and example of the saints, one of the toughest gospels, the authority of the Catechism, and even some modern psychology to propose a new spiritual superweapon in fighting against these soul-destroying vices. Many of us are consecrated to Mary after the teaching of St. Louis de Montfort, and yet there is a traditional capstone on Marian Consecration that is generally forgotten today. Consider this text:

“It is very praiseworthy and helpful for those who have become slaves of Jesus in Mary to wear, in token of their slavery of love, a little chain blessed with a special blessing … I cannot help but give the warmest approval to those who wear them. They show they have shaken off the shameful chains of the slavery of the devil, in which original sin and perhaps actual sin had bound them and have willingly taken upon themselves the glorious slavery of Jesus Christ. Like St. Paul, they glory in the chains they wear for Christ.” ­–St. Louis de Montfort

These chains are called consecration chains, and, when worn on the wrist, consecration chain bracelets. They are sacramentals. Most of us don’t talk about, think about, or use sacramentals much, so some background here will help. First, the definition from the Catechism:

“Holy Mother Church has, moreover, instituted sacramentals. These are sacred signs which bear a resemblance to the sacraments. They signify effects, particularly of a spiritual nature, which are obtained through the intercession of the Church. By them men are disposed to receive the chief effect of the sacraments, and various occasions in life are rendered holy…Sacramentals do not confer the grace of the Holy Spirit in the way that the sacraments do, but by the Church’s prayer, they prepare us to receive grace and dispose us to cooperate with it.” –Catechism, 2nd ed., 1667-70”

The Importance of Tangible Reminders

The rosary is one of the best-known and most popular of sacramentals. It is possible to pray the rosary without having the physical object in hand. Have you tried it? I have. I end up using my fingers to count Hail Mary’s. Sometimes when I do this alone I forget that I’m praying, go back to some other activity, and only much later realize that I never finished my rosary. Even when I do succeed in finishing it, it is less meritorious because I am more often distracted, and I have to reserve some part of my brain for counting when the visible and tangible reminder of the rosary beads is absent.

Think about that while reading this next text, again from St. Louis de Montfort:

A man’s actions are prompted more frequently by his senses than by pure faith and so he can easily forget his duties towards God if he has no external reminder of them. These little chains are a wonderful aid in recalling the bonds of sin and the slavery of the devil from which baptism has freed him.

Habits and Choices

This is where modern psychology comes in: people generally assume that we do the things we decide to do. This is false. It is the opposite of the truth; we actually end up deciding to do the things that we are already doing by habit. In regards to habitual actions, and especially vices that bring immediate sensual pleasure…staying in bed after you turn off the alarm clock, eating that last piece of pizza, masturbation…it is a dangerous myth that has contributed to the despair and continued entrapment-to-sin of many decent people of good will. This concept and its ramifications have been extensively explored by modern science, but the mental model has not sufficiently sunk into everyday thinking. Consider this excerpt from Gretchen Rubin’s bestseller, Better than Before:

“The real key to habits is decision making­—or, more accurately, the lack of decision making. A habit requires no decision from me, because I’ve already decided. Am I going to brush my teeth when I wake up? Am I going to take this pill? I decide, then I don’t decide; mindfully, then mindlessly. I shouldn’t worry about making healthy choices. I should make one healthy choice, and then stop choosing.

Like St. Louis de Montfort in the preceding quote, St. Paul understood what science is only now catching up to:

“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me.” –Romans 7:15-20

This sounds scary, like our actions are beyond our control. But it actually contains the key to the whole puzzle of escaping habitual vice. Just as external sensibles drive our actions towards vice when left unmanaged, external sensibles can be deliberately manipulated to drive our actions towards virtue. Further, this is not “cheating”, it’s not avoiding the hard work of virtue; it is prudent and holy to manipulate our environment in a way that reinforces good actions. This is what the alcoholic does when in a fit of desperation—or inspiration—he dumps out and throws away all the liquor bottles in the house. This is what the addict does when he checks himself into rehab. It is what you are doing when, in a moment of lucidity, you install a browser extension to block X-rated websites. If you want to drink more water in the morning, fill up your water bottle and place it on your nightstand before bed. If you want to do some meaningful creative work in the morning before email overtakes you, close your email at the end of your workday so it won’t be staring you in the face next morning. If you want to increase your devotion to the Eucharist, go to daily mass.

How Sacramentals Help

Sacramentals are not good luck charms. Unlike the Sacraments, they do not confer grace of themselves. Rather, they are external sensibles that remind you in the moment of temptation not to be an idiot and do something you will regret. Again: “they prepare us to receive grace and dispose us to cooperate with it”. The medium through which they do is our senses, as the rosary uses the senses to keep you on track while praying. What can a consecration chain bracelet do? If you place it on your right wrist as an external, sensible reminder of your enslavement to Jesus through Mary, you fulfill the gospel commandment: “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” –Matthew 5:30

What sin is more closely associated with our right hand than masturbation? But Jesus is speaking figuratively, surely; for one thing, a hand cannot cause us to sin; sin is in the will and what we do with our hands is only an outward expression of a sinful choice we have already made. No. Remember the words of St. Paul and St. Louis. “I can will what is right, but I cannot do it.” Our flesh guides our actions to vice. There is truly some sense in which it is our hand, standing for our whole body, that sins while our mind looks the other way. But surely we are not meant to actually cut it off? Probably not. Then how to fulfill the gospel commandment?

Wear the consecration chain bracelet. “Cut off” your hand by giving it over completely to Jesus through Mary, enslaved to virtue by the power of charity within you, yes, but confirmed and reinforced through the power of deliberately manipulating external sensibles to promote virtuous habits. Cut it off. Your hand is no longer yours when you wear this bracelet. Every time you see it, feel it, notice its weight, remember why you wear it. Remember whose creature you are. Remember that you are not your own master. Mary spoke to all of us when she told the stewards at Cana to “Do whatever He tells you.” Bind your right hand in obedience to Christ. Cut if off from your sinful flesh. Cut off your right hand as you cut off your will, giving it wholly to God, and wear the consecration chain bracelet as an external, sensible reminder of the vow you will make today: My right hand is cut off, it is no longer mine to command, and NEVER AGAIN will I sin with it.

Decide Today

Decide TODAY that you will wear a consecration chain bracelet on your right wrist until the Good Lord calls you home. Decide TODAY to start over, go to confession, and never again let your right hand drag you towards hell. “Make one healthy choice, and then stop choosing.”

The reader may be wondering whether I write from experience in preaching the efficacy of this devotion. I do not. I have been wearing my consecration chain bracelet for the better part of a year now, but thankfully, I quit masturbation years before I’d ever heard of the consecration chain bracelet, and before I consecrated myself to Mary. My shame over my habitual masturbation and addiction to porn kept me away from the confessional and the other sacraments for years as a teenager. I finally came back to the Church as a college sophomore and spent the next two years going to confession regularly while frequently falling again. Finally, as a senior, two months before my wedding date, I confessed to my fiancée my years of entrapment in sin, and that I was still in it. It was the hardest conversation I ever had, and one of the most beneficial and important. I could not in good conscience promise that I would never masturbate again, but I did promise that if I ever fell, I would tell her promptly. That was six years ago. By the grace of God, I have never had occasion to fulfill that promise to her. The hurt I caused her, her face, her words to me during that conversation are etched in my memory forever, and I cringe to think of dragging us both through that all over again. So my challenge to those of you still trapped in the darkness: take the easier way out. Complete a Marian Consecration if you haven’t yet, and then wear the consecration chain bracelet as a permanent external sensible reminder of your commitment to chastity.

Colin and his wife Stephanie met at Thomas Aquinas College. They are raising three wonderful children in Wisconsin, and are member’s of Fr. Rick Heilman’s parish, St. Mary Pine Bluff.  Formerly a minimally-practicing Catholic and COO of Ballotpedia.org, Colin heard God’s call to a deeper faith in early 2018 and directed that energy towards improving the online presence and unity of the pro-life movement. Read his story and support his ministry at TheTippingPoint.org/story.

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Pornography and Education: Closing Windows of Wonder

In older days, a young woman was assigned her first teaching post in a rural Irish schoolhouse. Though a diligent and disciplined person, she had difficulty capturing the attention of her rowdy students.

Then one day, unruly as usual, she happened to say something about Cuchulain.

“Who’s Cuchulain?” one boy asked. The teacher began to tell of that hero and, for the first time, her classroom quieted. The children had never heard of the ancient tales of their land and were spellbound with wonder. After this success, the teacher told myths and legends every day. Her pupils were listening and alive.

But the superintendents had heard of her troubles, and when they stopped by only to hear fairy stories, they dismissed her on the spot. Walking home, the teacher passed an ancient potato farmer in his field.

“Everything all right, miss?” he said.

The teacher told the old man what had happened. He squinted silently as he leaned on his hoe and looked out over the green hills growing gold in the gloaming.

“Well,” the farmer said at length, “all you can do is open windows of wonder.”

He raised his closed hand and, drawing back gnarled fingers, revealed a butterfly in his palm. The butterfly shook out its wings and fluttered into the sunlight.

***

This mysterious anecdote, told me by the man who taught me to be a teacher, draws the mind to the vital importance of wonder in education—and its devastating loss. As such, it has much to do with the current crisis of education, the current age being so out of touch with the innocence of wonder. Without wonder, education is obstructed, obscured, and nothing contributes so much to the barring of wonder in these days than the cultural plague of pornography.

Pornography, and the rampant accessibility to it, degrades dignity and even divinity itself to a young mind, rendering beauty a dirty thing—nothing to take seriously, nothing to respect, and nothing to wonder over. For this fact alone, pornography and education are antithetical. Education rejoices in truth; pornography revels in falsehood. Education draws people out of themselves; pornography drags them within. Education is about permanent things; pornography is about disposable things. Education delights; pornography dominates.

Pornography is among the deadliest enemies of education nowadays for it distracts and dulls the soul’s faculties to regard, to receive, to retain, and to rejoice in the realities of goodness, truth, and beauty in a mode preliminary to wisdom. As a chimera, pornography is inimical to reality, and therefore to education, creating a barrier to perception by inhibiting wonder which, as Socrates taught, is the beginning of wisdom. Pornography breeds indifference to beauty, robbing people of their ability to be awed or to find pleasure in the beautiful, and hence in the good and the true.

Though pornography is all about the perversion of sex, wonder is obviously not particularly about sex at all. The educational issue at hand is that pornography attacks a specific and powerful window of wonder whose closing can cause the closure of many other windows. If sex is no longer sacred, what thing of beauty is? If intimacy is reduced to objectification and self-gratification, what hope is there for heroism, or sunsets, or a butterfly? If all is grinding noise, how will God come through in the grand silence?

The age of wonder is the target for the multi-billion-dollar porn industry. The sooner the abnormal is normalized and the senses desensitized, the better for its coffers and contrivances. The current average age that a child first encounters pornography is 12 years old. Filterless filth is always a click away, and its devices and baited lures are in the hands and before the eyes of children.

According to some statistics, at this very moment there are nearly 30,000 people looking at pornography on the Internet. They are among the 40 million Americans who access pornography frequently, 200,000 of whom are addicts. To suppose that people, especially young people, even from solid families, are not exposed to pornography in some form or another is, unfortunately, naïve. The presence of pornography is a given, as it is widespread, strategic, and insidious. That is the reality that must be faced before it can be fought—and one of the major battlefields is education.

Spoiled spirits, succumbing to a wonder-less world, are not very susceptible to formation, crippled as they are by eroticism, cynicism, hedonism, relativism, nihilism, and a host of other infernal “isms” that contribute to a defiled innocence with dread purpose, for the innocence proper to certain years of life is a vital factor in education, especially if that education is guided by the classical and Catholic pedagogy of wonder.

As it closes windows of wonder, pornography opens backdoors to child predators, chatroom stalkers, and other cyber threats. Even so, the windows remain closed. Though widely acknowledged as a health and safety concern, and often cited as a contributing factor in marital infidelity and divorce, pornography remains popular and shall be as long as an attentive intellect remains unpopular.

Youth longs for meaning in education, for wide-open windows that let in light and air. Yet the demeaning barriers that pornography promotes and pushes puts them at risk of never finding their way out of the cave of shadows, out of virtual reality, out of fantasy, and into the bright, beautiful world that God made good: a meaningful world filled with truths and mysteries where He can be found and where He can give fulfillment. All we must do is open windows of wonder.

_______

SEAN FITZPATRICK is a graduate of Thomas Aquinas College and serves as the headmaster of Gregory the Great Academy in Elmhurst, Pa. He also serves on the Advisory Council for Sophia Institute for Teachers. His writings on education, literature and culture have appeared in Crisis Magazine, The Imaginative Conservative, and Catholic Exchange.

This post first appeared in the Cardinal Newman Society Journal and is reprinted with permission. 

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Give Up Porn for Lent

henri05.thumbI know, I know, I’ve been writing about porn and purity a lot lately.

But there’s a good reason—It’s a HUGE problem. 

When 64% of Christian men admit to watching porn at least monthly, and at least 21% of youth pastors admit to being addicted, there’s no point in pretending it isn’t happening. As my good friend Matt Fradd is wont to say, “Why do we preach to the choir about porn? Because the choir is looking at porn!” It may be unpleasant to talk about, but it is altogether necessary.

So if you are one of the many men who struggles with pornography, I want to issue a challenge to you: Give up porn for Lent. There is no better time to conquer this sin once and for all than this focused season of purification and conversion leading up to Easter.

Why give it up?

When a sin has been a part of your life for a long time, it is easy to justify its presence. We make excuses or tell ourselves we’ll give it up someday, but not yet. The fact it is a mortal sin is reason enough to fight porn, but if that’s not sufficient for your, here are three more reasons to give up porn today.

  1. It hurts real women – One of the chief seductions of porn is that it feels so harmless at the moment. We rationalize by telling ourselves that we aren’t really hurting anyone, and that everything we see is consensual. The problem is, that isn’t true. Many women who’ve left the industry tell heartbreaking stories of abuse, drug addiction, coercion, trafficking, and more. The porn industry is a horrible place that destroys women and then discards them. When you look at porn, you are contributing to the misery and degradation of countless women. How does that make you feel?
  2. It rewires your brain – Neuroscience is revealing that our brains are not unchanging, but are rather plastic. That means that our brains can be trained and shaped by repeated actions. And guess what? Repeated viewing of porn rewires your brain, and not in a good way. If you want to be an overgrown manchild with a smaller, more infantile brain, go ahead, watch porn. But if you want to be a real man, a man who has control and can make mature choices, you’d better give up porn.
  3. It gets worse – The problem with addictions is that they are almost impossible to compartmentalize or control. Once you are addicted, it always gets worse. That’s just the way our brains work. So perhaps you start out looking at stuff that’s relatively tame. But before you know it, it won’t get you excited anymore. You’ll need something racier and more extreme. And then you’ll be looking at acts so horrible you never could have imagined them, all because that’s what you need to get aroused. Do you really want to end up like Jared?

There’s so much more that could be said, but put simply, porn ruins lives and relationships. People have lost their jobs, their spouses, and even their lives, because of porn. Don’t be a slave. Give it up.

Three Weapons for Breaking Free

I hope you want to be free of porn. Deep down, you must want to or you’ll never make it. If you are sick of porn’s presence in your life, here are three powerful tools that can help you break free.

  1. Accountability – One of the most foolish things we can do in our struggle against porn is refuse to be accountable. Sure, it is embarrassing to tell someone else about your struggle, but it is also healthy and freeing and immensely helpful. In fact, I would argue that it is impossible to really break free from porn unless you are accountable to someone else. One of the easiest and most powerful ways to stay accountable is accountability software. When you know someone else is going to see exactly what sites you visit, it provides a lot of motivation to stay clean. Click here to sign up for Covenant Eyes, the leading accountability software out there. Even better, for the entirety of Lent, you’ll get a free 60 day trial of Covenant Eyes. Just use the code “lentchallenge” when you download the software.
  2. The Blue Label Challenge – Speaking of motivation, sometimes we need a little pain to stay motivated. That’s where the Blue Label Challenge comes in. It’s a simple contest between friends: You challenge a buddy to stay clean from porn, and if they fail, they buy you something expensive enough to hurt. And vice versa–if you fail to stay away from porn, you have to buy your buddy something too. For some people, being out $50 could be enough motivation to stay clean. For others, maybe it’s a Blue Label bottle of Scotch that costs hundreds of dollars. The point is, you have the motivating threat of a serious expenditure hanging over your head the next time you’re tempted to look at porn. It’s a great reminder that porn costs—in the short term and the long term. So what are you waiting for? Take the challenge.
  3. Retrain Your Brain – As I mentioned earlier, neuroscience is proving that our brains are trainable. Through repeated actions, we can teach ourselves to act in a certain way. The good news is, several groups have harnessed this new discovery to help fight porn. Catholic Apologist Devin Rose has a multi-week Catholic course helping men conquer porn. Reclaim Sexual Health offers a neuroscience and faith based program. And finally, the Fortify Program takes a completely secular approach to beating porn. All of these tools can help rewire your brain in a positive, porn-free way.

You Can Do It

For 20 centuries, Lent has been a time of fasting, penance, and prayer. It is a time of rooting out sins and practicing virtues. There is no better time to fight porn intensely than this holy season of conversion.

But whatever you do, don’t believe the lie that you are trapped forever. It isn’t true. Despair is the enemy. Reject it. By God’s grace, you can be free of porn. This Lent, make a commitment to beat this sin once and for all. Focus all your energy on that goal, and use all the weapons at your disposal.

Finally, entrust yourself wholly to our Lord Jesus Christ who is able to help you. Call out to him like the blind beggar in the Gospels, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” and never forget that he can heal you and save you.

You can beat porn. And there’s no better time than Lent to begin. Ready, set, fight!

PS: For the next three days, get a FREE Kindle edition of Matt Fradd’s book “Restored: True Stories of Love and Trust after Porn” that shows that porn can be beaten!

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4 Out of 5 Catholic Men Confess This Sin

38b445fbf79fd8d9314f9e540c1a32faThey confess to looking at pornography and masturbating.

It’s awkward, I know, to say it so candidly, but the only way to defeat pornography in our lives is to admit that we have a widespread problem with it.

Vice, Firmly Entrenched

By the time I was in high school, the habit of lusting after women via pornography was firmly entrenched in my soul. I was an atheist at the time.

I recall listening to a popular late night radio show during these years, where the female host–allegedly a psychologist with a Ph.D.–counseled callers that looking at pornography and masturbating were good, healthy things for a young man to do. I knew I couldn’t resist the desire to look and lust on a frequent basis, so her words confirmed for me that what I was doing wasn’t something wrong.

Years passed, and I was in college, suffering from an anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and depression. I reached out to God for help, and over the course of many months He came into my life.

But I was still addicted to pornography.

While still an atheist, I remember sitting in an apartment with three Evangelical Protestant friends of mine, and they told me that looking at pornography was a sin. My response: I laughed at them. Yes, laughed.

I laughed because the thought of any man being able to overcome the desire for lust and pornography seemed ludicrous to me.

I told them that “every man does this and anyone who denies it is a liar.” While blunt, and not completely true, my words weren’t too far off the mark, even among Christians.

Jesus Pulled No Punches

A year or so later, God drew me out of atheism, and I became an Evangelical Protestant like my friends.

I was a newly minted Christian and didn’t want to believe that looking at pornography was wrong. But then I read Jesus’ words in St. Matthew’s gospel:

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. — Matt. 5:27-28

Ouch. I wanted there to be a way that His words could be interpreted to mean something different from what they seemed to be saying, but I couldn’t convince myself out of what I knew He must mean. Earlier in the same chapter, in the Beatitudes, Jesus said: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” I couldn’t claim to be pure in heart while lusting after women.

“But I can’t stop doing it. There’s no way,” I thought to myself.

I was a slave to this sin. And in John 8:34, Jesus spoke clearly about what that meant: “Very truly, I tell you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.”

I didn’t want to be a slave, but a free man. I wanted to be set free to love by the Son, and Jesus promised that He would help. So began the long, incredibly difficult odyssey in my own life to conquer this vice.

I Started the Battle As a Protestant…

I had access to God via prayer, so I started praying for God’s grace to help me conquer porn compulsion. A little progress was made as the months passed.

To my surprise, when speaking in confidence to one of my Baptist friends about my struggle, he confided in me that he, too, struggled with it. So we began to be accountability partners with each other. That helped as well, especially since,as a Protestant, I did not have sacramental Confession.

I also started to become disciplined. I woke up early in the morning to pray and go to Bible studies with my fellow Protestant roommates. In this way and in others, I slowly grew in self-mastery.

Yet I still fell to the temptation to lust and look at pornography regularly. The desire to do it felt so incredibly strong. I realized that what took years to develop into a deeply rooted vice, would take years to uproot.

I was still a relatively new Christian, and I began to read about Catholicism, the Church Fathers, and listen to Scott Hahn talks. They led me to Catholicism, and a new chapter in my fight for purity.

…And Won the Battle As a Catholic

When I became Catholic, I was hopeful that pornography would be eradicated from my life instantly by Mass and Confession, a sacramental one-two punch.

Alas, that didn’t happen. And somewhere I read that “the sacraments are not magic.”

But I also read that, unlike what I was taught in Protestantism, I could truly cooperate with God’s grace. So I dove into the depths of Catholicism: the lives of the saints, Eucharistic adoration, daily Mass, volunteering and service, frequent Confession, regular novenas, confraternities and sacramentals–the whole gamut.

I wanted to avail myself of the fullness of the means of salvation and grace that our Lord imbued in His Church.

Along the way, I discovered, as a hidden treasure in a field, Pope St. John Paul II’s theology of the body. I began dating a faithful Catholic woman who introduced me to it. It was exhilarating to finally learn the purpose of my sexuality, to give myself and receive the gift of self from my future wife.

More years passed, but I was seeing real progress. I could almost feel myself growing in the virtue of purity, by God’s grace. There was no one day when I conquered pornography compulsion. I was on guard against the temptation at all times, even after living in freedom from it for a year.

By the end of the war, God had taught me many things, not the least of which was my total need for Him to rescue me from slavery to sin. Every Confession, every act of faith, every oblation and self-surrender to Him, brought me a little bit closer to the victory of love. But it took a long time.

“Help Your Brothers”

I am still on guard against temptation, but in truth I’ve tried to put the sin and guilt and shame out of my mind.

That is, until a few months ago. I felt God nudging me to do something to help my Catholic brothers in their fight. And I did what I usually do, ignored Him.

But the thoughts kept coming back, and then the opportunity presented itself to create a course to help men overcome addiction to lust.

I thought about what would have helped me during those long years of struggle. I called to mind every tool, weapon, tactic, and defense I found and marshaled in my struggle. And I distilled those down into a video course.

I didn’t know what to expect when I published the course. But a few men signed up right away. Then a few more men. Then about thirty men, and I started corresponding with them personally over email. Even the seasoned veterans who signed up told me that they learned new ideas from it that they didn’t know existed. One of them asked if he could show it to his King’s Men group at church, a group dedicated to helping men win freedom, and of course I said he could.

The course gives you the tools you need to win the fight against pornography compulsion. I include in it a Steps to Victory Checklist that lists every single thing that I and other men have done to grow strong in chastity. I also lay out a 17-Week Bootcamp program that incorporates all the resources I share in the videos into a step-by-step guide.

Freedom from sin is possible with God! And He has blessed us through His Church with innumerable means to grow in holiness and win this freedom. If you are struggling with pornography compulsion, take a new step today and sign up for my course.

—

Devin Rose is a Catholic author and lay apologist equipping Catholics to defend their faith, and helping Protestants fairly consider Catholicism’s claims. He blogs at St. Joseph’s Vanguard.

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10 Ways to Win the Battle for Purity

bearbeitet-3Flashy billboards, provocative dress and apparel, Hollywood fashions spread far and wide, suggestive innuendos, off-colored jokes, indecent movies, and the ever-present danger of the Internet to visit the numerous and poisonous websites—all of these and a plethora of other alluring and seductive temptations can trap even the best of us into falling into the sin against the virtue of purity. In a certain sense, the world can be depicted as a moral land-mine, where at every turn and corner in the road there is an immoral spiritual bomb that can be stepped on and explode!  Let us be honest and to the point—we live in a society of dangerous and often pernicious images. We live in a pornographic society!

Almost 100 years ago Our Lady appeared in Fatima to three innocent Shepherd children—Blessed Jacinta, Blessed Francisco and their cousin Lucia de los Santos. Our Lady appeared to the children six times—from May 13th up to October 13th on which the great miracle of the sun occurred witnessed by close to 80,000 people.

One of the subsequent messages of Our Lady to the world at large referred to the salvation as well as perdition of humanity. Our Lady stated in the year 1917 that most souls were lost to the fires of hell principally due to the sins against the 6th and 9th commandments—that is to say the sins of impurity.

This being the present danger we would like to offer a spiritual strategy that we can use; a plan applicable for parents, teens, and even children so that we can avoid the ever-present danger of the attacks against purity, and if we have fallen, to gently and confidently return to the Lord, through the intercession of Mary, with all our hearts.

Spiritual Arms to Win the Battle for Purity

1. Weapons of Prayer. We are weak, very weak! Jesus reminded the Apostles as well as the whole world in the Garden of Gethsemane with these precise words: “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Pray that you will not enter in the test.”(Mt 26:40-41) Instead of praying the Apostles fell asleep and thereby failed the Lord.   The principal reason for falling into any sin, but especially that of impurity, is either lack of prayer or a very weak and anemic prayer.  The Israelites were able to defeat their enemies only after Moses perched on the top of the hill, overlooking the battle field, lifted his arms to heaven. (Exodus 17:8-13) To conquer the imperious demands of the flesh and the constant insinuations of the world and the temptations of the devil, we must (like Moses) lift up our arms constantly in prayer. Jesus invites us with these words: “Ask and you will receive… “(Mt. 7:7). Let us beg the Lord for the gift and virtue of purity.

2. Don’t play with fire. A key reason why many fall into sins of impurity is a failure to avoid the near occasion of sin. Proverbs are not lacking:  “He who plays with fire will get burnt”… and “He who walks on thin ice will fall in” … once again… “He who walks on a slippery slope will fall.”  We have to use common sense and prudence. A simple example!  A boyfriend and girl- friend, after having a nice meal together, the boy-friend invites his girl-friend to his condo to pray the Rosary together!!! Mind you!  They will both forget their Rosaries and fall prey to the temptations of the devil and demands of the flesh!

3. Modesty. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that modesty is the guardian of the virtue purity. (CCC # 2521-2524) All must practice modesty. Through Baptism our bodies become temples of the Holy Spirit, still more, temples of the Blessed Trinity and after Holy Communion living Tabernacles of the Blessed Sacrament. Women should never be a provocation or occasion of sin to men. And men are not to be excused by a wandering eye. Contemplate any noble statue or painting of Our Lady—Our Lady of Guadalupe, Lourdes, Fatima—and you will be struck by heavenly beauty, but also the virtue of modesty. May Our Lady be our model and guide especially in the practice of purity.

4. Penance. Jesus stated:  “Some devils can be expelled only through prayer and fasting.” On one occasion I was taking a walk and in my path was a big black bird—a Crow.  As I drew closer the bird did not take flight. Always having a strong devotion to St. Francis, I thought that maybe I had a latent special gifts with animals. This was not the case at all. The reason for the lack of flight was the simple reason that the poor bird had a broken wing! The scene brought me to a spiritual reflection.

We are like the bird in our spiritual lives. We are called to be like eagles to fly high into the lofty heights, but we need two spiritual wings to fly on high—Prayer and Pennance!  To conquer the imperious demands of the flesh we must pray, pray and pray, but also learn the art of fasting and live a life of penance. All the saints have taught us this clear lesson!

5. Avoid Laziness. Another huge opening for the devil of impurity is the capital sin ofsloth or call it laziness. Once again maxims are at our beck and call: “Idleness(laziness) is the workshop of the devil.” The great saint and educator and patron of youth, Saint John Bosco experienced a mortal fear when vacations arrived for his young people. He called vacations the harvest ground of the devil. Why? The reason was clear—summer months free and nothing to do! In this state of affairs the devil enters in quickly to tempt in many ways and especially against the virtue of chastity.  One of the primary reasons why so many young people—especially of the male-sex– have serious problems with Internet porn and self-abuse is because of excessive free time, boredom and easy access to impure websites! Saint Bonaventure put it succinctly:  “When one is working a devil might be there to tempt, but when you have nothing to do a multitude of devils are there to tempt.”

6. Improper Language.  In all times and places and circumstances we should control our tongue. Saint James admonishes us: “We should be slow to speak and quick to listen.” (Read St. James 3—the sins of the tongue) But this is especially pertinent with respect to purity. Never should it happen that issues from our lips dirty words, suggestive language and worse yet coarse, crude and impure jokes. Later on in his life as an mature priest, Saint John Bosco lamented that he could not expunge or erase from his mind an impure thing that a man had uttered in front of him when he was a mere boy. It was engraved in the memory back of the young Bosco and still there as an elderly priest. Jesus warns us that we will be judged on all of the words that issue from our mouths. Never forget that we receive the Body and Blood of Jesus on our tongues; our tongues become the throne of Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Let us speak with such nobility!

7. Constant Vigilance—especially of the eyes. Pope Francis in his messages is constantly reminding us that we must keep vigilance over our persons. The Ignatian daily examen is key. This superb practice invites us to rewind the film of our day and see where God has been present and give thanks, but also to see where our hearts have wandered from our loving God. This we can easily apply to the virtue of purity. In prayer and reflection observe and humbly admit when our eyes, mind affections and heart start to wander from God and start to toy with what is not of God—that of impurity. A noteworthy Biblical passage that can be of enormous advantage to us is the temptation, allurement and fall of the Holy King David. A holy man, a prayerful man, a gifted man, a man after the very heart of God—this was King David. However, he did not keep strict vigilance over his eyes, mind and heart and this resulted in a cataclysmic fall, a fall that cast him into the depths of lust and dishonesty. Giving in to lust terminated in adultery; then adultery led to murder and murder to the suppression of the conscience. May the story of David be a warning to us!  Jesus warns us: “Stay awake and pray; the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.”

8. Confession & Renewed Hope. Human weakness does prevail over us and we can all fall. Worst of all, above and beyond the fall into any sin,  is that of despair.  The gravest fault of Judas was not his betrayal of Jesus, but his despair and failing to trust in the infinite mercy of Jesus. This being the case, we should never despair due to our human inclinations prone to sin and our sin itself. On the contrary. Saint Paul offers us these encouraging words: “Where weakness abounds the grace of God abounds all the more.” The great Saint Augustine, who lived a life of slavery to lust and impurity into his early thirties, preaches the doctrine of “O happy fault”. God can allow an evil to bring even greater good out of it. Therefore, if we have the misfortune of falling into a sin against purity then we should have a boundless trust in God and have immediate recourse to the Sacrament of His mercy, the Sacrament of Confession. And let us relish words of the prophet Isaiah: “Though your sins be like scarlet they will become as white as snow.”(Is. 1:18) A good confession can transform our souls into the beauty of freshly fallen white snow on the virgin ground!

9. Frequent Holy Communion. Of the greatest importance in safeguarding the virtue of chastity is our relation to Jesus in the most Holy Eucharist.  The Holy Eucharist is really, truly and substantially the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus, the Son of the living God. When we receive Jesus in Holy Communion we receive all of the following—His totality! We receive the mind of Jesus, with His memory that purifies our possibly dirty thoughts. We receive Jesus’ Blood that circulates through our entire body, rushing through our veins and arteries. We receive the most Sacred Heart of Jesus with His most noble of sentiments; even more, we receive the absolute purity of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus. If you like, every Holy Communion well-received results in receiving a spiritual Heart-transplant. As Saint Paul says, “Put on the mind of Christ; then, you have the mind of Christ.”  Then Paul abounds all the more in this most lofty expression: “It is no longer I who live but it is Christ who lives in me.” Frequent and fervent and a passionate reception of Holy Communion is by far the most efficacious means to live a life of purity—It is Jesus Himself that takes possession of our entire lives and being!

10. Our Lady: Our model and intercessor for all virtues. Of course it would be far from complete our treatise on the virtue of purity if we did not invite Our Lady, the Mother of holy and pure love to be with us, pray for us, and intercede on our behalf. Experience shows in the lives of countless saints that it is through their great love of God and filial trust and love for Mary that they can live holy lives and lives of great purity.

Saint Faustina Kowalska had an encounter with the Lord Jesus. He drew close to the saint and wrapped a golden sash around her waist. This symbolized a gift that He generously bestowed upon the saint—the gift of perfect chastity. Her flesh would be totally submissive to her mind and spirit and no longer would she experience indecent thoughts. Jesus would be the center of her life, her all and all. However, there is an additional very important note. Saint Faustina said that she had been begging Our Lady for this gift for a long time! Therefore, it was through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary that Saint Faustina acquired this marvelous gift of perfect chastity. Let us all turn to the most pure and Immaculate Heart of Mary and beg for purity of mind, heart, body, soul and even intention. Let us beg Mary most Holy for the grace to live out this sublime Beatitude that Jesus taught us: “Blessed are the pure of heart for they will see God.” (Mt. 5:8) Let us live out purity in this life so as to contemplate the beauty of the Blessed Trinity—with Our Lady, the angels and saints—for all eternity! Amen

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Father Ed Broom is an Oblate of the Virgin Mary. He blogs regularly at Fr. Broom’s Blog. This post originally appeared at Catholic Exchange and is reprinted with permission.