John Sablan spent the better part of his adult life being what he now calls the X factor in his family: the one holding everything back. Raised in abuse, living a wayward life, he and his wife stumbled into the Catholic Church, and he settled comfortably into being lukewarm. His marriage came to the edge. Then at a men's conference, with a general confession, and a priest praying deliverance over him in Latin changed the trajectory. In this conversation, John Heinen and Devin Schadt sit down with John Sablan to get at the real roots of what's keeping men soft and what it actually takes to do something about it. Rooted in Thomistic psychology (which he studied under Fr. Chad Ripperger), John defines effeminacy the way Aquinas did: not a personality flaw, but a moral vice. The inability to deny pleasure in order to pursue the arduous good. He unpacks the trap men fall into when they finally decide to get serious: trading softness for stoicism, white-knuckling virtue as a self-improvement project, making the whole thing about proving themselves rather than serving God. They also tackle why "do you want to save your marriage?" is the wrong question.

Men today are doing everything they’ve been told, working hard, providing, staying faithful, yet they still feel disconnected or confused from their wives and children. In this episode, John Heinen and Devin Schadt sit down with Adam Lane Smith to uncover why. Drawing from the science of attachment theory, Adam exposes how a man can be highly capable on the outside while remaining emotionally isolated on the inside, and how that disconnect quietly shapes every relationship he has. They explore the hidden dynamics behind fading desire, emotional shutdown, and why so many men default to solving problems alone. Adam also lays out a clear framework for rebuilding connection in marriage, including the overlooked steps that either strengthen or slowly erode a wife’s trust and intimacy.

We get this question all the time, what do I need to do to find a wife or get married? So often we find men waiting for the right woman to find them, the right opportunity to arrive, the right moment to finally step up. The problem isn't that they lack a desire; the problem is that they haven't yet done the interior and exterior work of becoming marriageable. In this episode, John Heinen and Devin Schadt cut through the noise and lay out five concrete frameworks every man needs to examine, from the physical to internal, if he's serious about becoming the kind of man a woman of character actually wants. They cover what a man's physical discipline communicates to a woman long before he opens his mouth, why work ethic is inseparable from self-mastery, how the interior life anchors everything else, what brotherhood has to do with your readiness for marriage, and why posture - how you position yourself in the world - may be the most overlooked trait of all.

John Hienen, owner of The Catholic Gentleman, said that often men treat Lent as though it is “extra credit,” as though we are being kind to God by offering Him a little extra. How nice. Lent is not an add-on feature, a bonus segment on a liturgical app, an extra rep, or an extra lap around the track.Lent is essential.You will only have so many Lents—perhaps seventy or eighty for those who are granted a longer life. “Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.” (Psalm 90:10)Indeed, how many of these Lents have we embraced to the fullest?

How a man treats women is never a side issue. It is one of the clearest revelations of his interior life, where it is at and even where it is going. In this episode, John Heinen and Devin Schadt explore why masculinity is tested not in dominance, intellect, or achievement, but in whether a man honors, protects, and reverences the feminine. From the way a man looks at women in public, to how he speaks about them in private, to how he carries the emotional and spiritual weight of his marriage, the conversation exposes the subtle ways men either elevate women to their proper dignity or reduce them for personal use. Do you protect or consume? This episode moves beyond surface-level advice and into formation and practical use. John and Devin address lust, resentment, spiritual passivity, and the quiet temptation to withdraw when love becomes costly. They examine why a husband’s response to his wife shapes the entire atmosphere of a home, and why a man’s relationship with woman ultimately reflects something deeper about his relationship with God. The path forward is not control, but self-gift; not avoidance, but reverent strength.